Nightmare
by xXNekoetteXx
Summary: Izaya gets nightmares every night which triggers his depression.


Chapter 1- Façade

 _ **Help me. Someone please help me.**_

 _I'm drowning but nobody knows. Nobody notices. Nobody cares._

 _I reach my hand out desperate for someone, anyone to save me. I scream for help and the air leaves my lungs, bubbles rush up to the surface._

 _ **Please, someone, anyone.**_ _I plead and beg but still no one grasps my hand to pull me out of this ocean of misery. After all no one sees what is underneath the surface until it is too late._

 _ **Nobody will save you**_ _, a voice whispers to my right ear._ _ **You are such a horrible person… who in the world will miss you?**_ _The voice laughs._

 _ **Shut up**_ _. I cover my ears in vain even though I know that I would still hear whatever the voice said perfectly well._

 _The voice giggled_ _ **. Aw, did I hit a nerve? Who knew you would be such a pathetic person.**_

 _ **Stop**_ _. I didn't say it in a pleading voice because even if I do I know the voice wouldn't listen to me. It never did._

 _ **How pathetic**_ _._

Izaya woke up with a start panting and sweating. _Just a dream_ , he thought trying to soothe himself. He clutched his shirt trying to calm his breathing.

These dreams have been haunting him for as long as he can remember and each and every single one had been horrible. Whether he would be buried alive, trapped inside somewhere there is no escape or like what he had just dreamt about- drowning. To add insult to injury, the dreams also emphasizes how nobody would care if these were to happen to him.

Izaya groans and looks at his clock. 9:03 Am. Remembering that he has a client at 9:30 Am he stood up and changed clothes and quickly left his apartment. The client wanted to meet up at one of the alleyways in Ikebukuro wanting information on someone who in Izaya's opinion isn't important at all.

Izaya walked all the to Ikebukuro and by the time he got there he felt exhausted. _Must be my lack of sleep catching up on me_ , he thought frustrated. Every night his sleep would get shattered by these nightmares making him unable to have a decent good night's sleep. Of course he had tried everything he could to stop these nightmares but nothing worked. There is the obvious solution of asking Shinra for help but he knew that the underground doctor would try to make him rest from his job. There was no way Izaya is doing that. More and more people come asking him for information and besides he couldn't bear to be away from his lovely humans for too long.

He finally got to their supposedly meeting place but his client is nowhere to found. Izaya checked his phone. 9:32 Am. He gritted his teeth as he realized that his 'client' tricked him. No wonder the person the bastard was 'wanting' information on wasn't important. He would get clients like this every now and then and it irks him to no end. _Humans really are interesting_.

With a sigh he decided to just go back home. But he doesn't want to try to sleep. No. Sleep was a luxury long lost from him. When was the last time he had gotten a good night's sleep? Izaya himself couldn't remember. Absentmindedly he watched his humans go through their everyday lives. A family was having a picnic in the park. A little boy holding the hand of his mother. A boy and a girl holding hands while walking. Their lives seemed so ordinary so lack luster yet at the same time intriguing. Day in, day out living their happy little lives. _Unlike me._

Lost in his thoughts he didn't realize a certain blonde coming towards him. Not until he heard his usual greeting.

"IIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZAAAAAAYYYYYYYAAAA!" Izaya froze and quickly formulated two plans inside his head. One, he'll run away and try to shake off the brute in the alleyways. Two, he'll turn around and pretend to be alright and that everything is ok. How he wish he can be ok again. He would do anything to have that again. Maybe pretending will be the same?

Izaya whirled around and placed on his usual smirk on his face. "Now, now Shizu-chan watch your temper."

"Shut up you louse!" Shizuo ripped a nearby stop sign from the ground and hurled it at Izaya. His smirk still plastered on his face he dodged it easily. People quickly scattered to avoid the flying object and distanced themselves from the two.

Izaya whistled mockingly, "Shizu-chan really has such a bad aim maybe you should have your eyesight checked~"

"Fucking flea just shut up and get out of Ikebukuro!" The blonde is seething with rage. "Nobody wants you here so just leave already you fucking louse!" Izaya froze for a moment but quickly returned to his usual attitude. _I have to leave_. _Now_.

"Well it's been really fun playing with you today Shizu-chan but unfortunately for you I have out business to take care of." Then he ran off not caring where he was running off to. Anywhere nobody would see him break down is fine.

"GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING LOUSE!" Izaya felt something whiz by his ear and luckily dodged the vending machine just in time. He quickly resumed running and made a sharp turn at the nearest alleyway but lack of sleep made him slow and sluggish.

A hand grabbed his jacket's hood and he soon found himself being slammed on a brick wall. He coughed and tried standing only to be punched and slammed on the opposite wall.

"Finally got you I~za~ya~kun."

Shizuo grabbed Izaya by the neck and lifted him from the ground. Blood trickled on Izaya's forehead from a wound he got when he was slammed against the wall. From his hazy vision Izaya saw the ex-bartender smirk and he sighed softly. He is so tired. His body screamed for nothing more than sleep but sleeping would also mean having another nightmare along with the voice.

"Hey louse, are you giving up?" Izaya looked up and saw…disappointment. His eyes widened. Shizuo is disappointed at the thought of Izaya gving up? "How pathetic."

It stung. Izaya felt his heart clenched.

Pathetic.

How pathetic.

You truly are pathetic.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

"Oi…why are you crying?"

Eh? Izaya touched the side of his face to find it damp with tears. Shizuo dropped Izaya and he fell to the floor with a thump. Izaya stood up and looked at Shizuo. The blonde looks confused and there is another emotion in his face that Izaya couldn't quite describe.

"I'm sorry," Izaya murmurs quietly. "I'm sorry I'm so pathetic."

Without looking at Shizuo's reaction he ran away.


End file.
